I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize