You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
