You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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