Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
