another moral hangover. fuck.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
