Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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