My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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