its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
