first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
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a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize