your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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