me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
