Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can text with my tongue
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
