he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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