Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
