are you so shy because you have an std?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
