Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
