i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
