I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize