Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
