i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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