she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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