Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
