he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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