Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize