I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
