well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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