you traded sex for a burrito?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
FUCK WHALES
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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