Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
