Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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