weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
