My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
