im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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