Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it's like iHOP with fire
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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