I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's shark week go big or go home
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
