it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
is that a dick in a sweater?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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