By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
