that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Randomize
