I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
