a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
