the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
