do herpes really smell.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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