Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
