real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
