This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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