Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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