i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
