i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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