dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
