And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
