I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
