You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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