you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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