i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
