this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Text me some of your sweat
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize