I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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