Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
