That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
