You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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