What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
