i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just blew my weed a kiss
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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