Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
