butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why didn't you poke me back
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
