I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize