y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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