did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
