She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
