He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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