I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
