maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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