his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
